How turbulence affects me..

Suddenly, my mind took me back to a turbulence that happened at my first fly. I had to go express due to my aunt health issue. I was excited to get on flight and maybe that was as same feeling as someone who would go on a jet at their prime time. It was round trip and I guessed I had a very good experience flying early in the morning to Jakarta. But then, my trip back to Surabaya has become my nightmare or even a trauma until this day. During that 45 minutes floating on the air at night, a death omen seemed to be so real to me. A jet shook, ups and downs. I realized, I convinced myself, it was "only" a turbulence, it happens to all flights. It would be done within minutes, my mind said... while the trip wouldn't last an hour. Just a different feeling of it finally, it kept happening for 5 mins, 10mins, 15mins, it was only ups and downs on and on just during the length of the trip. Everyone just felt it wasn't that normal. I saw a lady next to me spelling a familiar prayer, holding tight her purse, and closing her eyes. I knew she was frightened. I saw mom was trying to be calm. I heard people behind me calling Gods all the time. The lady attendant told people to lock the belt with her trying smiley face. It wasn't really "cure" the feelings and all I saw outside of the window just dark, a lightening flash, water droplets. I witnessed how scary getting closer with the real weather. Finally a climax, the jet felt like dumped down real sudden. I didn't feel any raise against of the jet like how it supposed to overcome it. Someone's bag fell, stewardess fell on the aisle, some passengers panicked. All I said to my Lord, "I just don't want to die now, forgive me Lord... Help me Jesus". I closed my eyes as my final surrendering. Slowly, I felt struggle crawling, felt stable moves, I saw  tiny lights like running LED from furthest. I knew the jet was ready to land. Those tiny lights become so clear, I could see roofs. I praised my Lord. I could say it was safe.. I passed the storm. I landed. I told mom I wanted to just took a bus and had some walks to home. I started to "feel", how ground felt, how the bad surface of the road was realer than air. I can't believe, how scary it was. I don't care if it was cheesy. But I know, on that plane were some people who didn't have first fly like I had but felt the same anxiety and scares. I know, what have happened to the MH, Air Asia... Could be scarier than what I had during my first 45 minutes. I pray to my Lord. I know God always do something even though we never knew it or even understand it. 

Pictures below showing before the landing on Juanda international airport.